They've Been Wrong

A children's rhyme

Dear child, many books you read

Will repeat a single screed

“Our planet’s warming up, you see

Soon we’ll have a great emergency!”

ALL the scientists insist

(All except the big blacklist)

They point to lots of charts and graphs

Of temps that never come to pass

The data’s flawed and it’s not great

Their studies never replicate

But if you question the location

Of a single weather station

You will hear exasperation

“We must ban disinformation”

Of course they say that. Grants depend

On not being one who might offend

The bureaucrats at the Foundation¹

That funds the science of the nation

Of course, this has been wrong so long

It’s amazing it keeps going on

In seventy-eight, experts said “jeez,

A new Ice Age will make us freeze!”

Then in the aughts, VP Al Gore

Said that flooding was in store

For the island of Manhattan

But I lived there, it never happened!

In twenty-eighteen, Greta said

We’ve got 5 years and then we’re dead!

The years went by, indeed, all five

But as I write this, I’m alive!

If rising oceans were a worry,

They’d move away in a great big hurry

But this does not seem to be

They build their mansions in NYC

In Martha’s Vineyard and Malibu

On islands and on beaches too!

They’d park their jets and call on Zoom

And sell these homes with lots of rooms

But see how they make their bets

They’ve not done any of this yet

I’ve also noticed, and it’s funny,

All their solutions make them money!

The cheapest, cleanest energy

Is nuclear, so could it be

That nukes could reduce our C02

And help to keep our costs down too?

Haha, no no, that’s far too easy

For politicians who are this sleazy

Their friends who make the solar panels

Pay pols to work law-making channels

The government will tax your cash

And subsidize their buddies’ stash

Wind or solar, doesn’t matter

Either way, their stack gets fatter

They’re not worried Solyndra failed

They got their cash out, then they bailed

Emissions from a foreign nation

Somehow don’t count in the equation

Don’t mind a grid that leaves you cold

Or where panels go when they get old

And nevermind the batteries

Are made enslaving Congolese

They want you scared so you don’t think

“Shouldn’t that money be in MY bank?”

So when someone sets a forest fire

They yell, “temps are going higher!”

They make the weather maps all red

So summer heat goes to your head

Please don’t let them scare you so badly

That you accept their lying gladly

Take a breath and think along

Of how many times that they’ve been wrong

Are things changing? Maybe so

Until we free science, we won’t know

We’ve only got one planet, true

But I know what we should NOT do

Surrender freedom to live and move

To people who won’t tell the truth

Don’t go broke for “going green”

To serve a quid pro quo machine

Follow the money, be kind, be strong

And remember how many times they’ve been wrong

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1. The NSF