Cigar Club

A simple, actionable suggestion for building IRL community

We all know we need to be building real-life communities, especially among men. But it can be tough. It doesn’t come naturally once you’re out of school. Everyone is busy, everyone is somewhere else. Just this week, in various contexts, I’ve seen a few posts about how hard this is.

So I thought I’d share one simple approach that’s brought a lot of joy and community into my life: start a cigar club.

Pick an evening and invite some guys over. Neighbors, coworkers, other dads, etc. “Hey, I’m having some guys over for cigars if you’re free.” You can do it at a cigar lounge, a backyard, a balcony, or (in some places) a park.

Why cigars? They’re an easy on-ramp. They don’t require equipment, skills, or a big investment. There’s no minimum quorum; you can smoke alone or with a big group. Nobody has to join anything or commit long-term.

There are definitely other ways to get a group together, but cigars have a rare blend of attributes. They take less time to smoke than a poker game (and are probably less addictive). Unlike video games, they can’t be smoked over the internet and force you out of your living room. You can pair them with scotch or beers, but a cigar invitation doesn’t have the awkwardness of a random cocktail hour invitation. Plus, hanging out smoking TOBACCO is also a bit of a first-pass filter for dudes that might not be much fun.

If people have fun, schedule another one.

Is it a silver bullet? No. But it is easy and fun. If this helps even one or two readers make some real-life connections, it was worth the post.

Get smoking.